Happy Birthday Grandma

I never remember birthdays. I am awful at remembering dates, or paying attention to what the day's date is, therefore routinely and absentmindedly missing my friends and family's special days. However, for some reason I never forgot my Grandma's birthday on March 4th. A date that will forever have a special place in my heart. Margaret Stock would have turned 90 today (I think...I am really bad at remembering age as well). She is missed.

My Grandma is someone I wish the whole world could have known. Wise, witty, calm, creative, loving and gentle. Her soul radiated beauty of every kind. Every word that came out of her mouth had meaning. Among all the chatty alphas in my family (sometimes talking over one another just to be the one who beats everyone else to the punch line) she would sit and listen and observe. But when she would speak, the room would go quite and we would all hang on to every word. Of all the chatter and laughter of my past it is her words I remember most clearly.

The last conversation I had with Grandma, we were at a family holiday party. I was sitting next to her both of us in silence (the room we were in, however, was quite lively), simply being in one another's presence was enough. She then turned to me and said, "Are you happy?" Now, I have been asked this question before but never had I felt that particular question provoke so much emotion, every bone in my body exposed. The fact that I was not able to reply right away with a YES forced me to ask myself, "Am I happy?" A question we all too often avoid asking ourselves perhaps because we are afraid of what our answer may be. I am not even sure I answered her. I had to excuse myself in that moment, I thought I was going to break down in tears. A question I had obviously been avoiding asking myself.

She left me with probably the most powerful questions one can ask oneself, "Am I happy?". For that, I am eternally grateful. And if she were sitting next to me in this very moment and asked me again, "Are you happy?" This time I could joyously respond, YES! And this I know would bring her great joy.

Above is a mosaic collage I did of her a few years ago. It hangs in my dinning room. I feel her presence every time I look at it, reminding me she will always be with me. She is with all of us who loved her, everyday.